It never ceases to amaze me how any moderately intelligent, breastfeeding-related discussion dissolves into screeching mommy-war bansheedom.
Seriously, people. I was so excited that young, vibrant feminists were FINALLY getting involved in the conversation, and then they go and get scared off by the same three or four nasty apples who ruin the whole damn bag of Honey Crisps. It makes the smart folks not want to buy apples anymore, and that isn’t good, because apples are good for you. And delicious.
Wait, what were we talking about again…? Oh yeah. Mommy war foolishness.
This recent piece from HuffPo compares the breast vs bottle battle to the plight of gay teens in high school, using Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” campaign as inspiration:
The “discussion” is not debate, but an online shit-storm with some writers complaining that Breastfeeding Moms are so strident and shaming that they make everyone else feel inadequate, and other writers complaining that Formula Feeding Moms are so strident and shaming that breast-feeders practically have to recite “I Support Others’ Use Of Formula” every time they latch their baby…
For almost everyone, once your kid is using the toilet, this mommy-wars thing is over. You’ll walk down the street with your seven- and five-year-olds and no one will talk to you about breast and bottle or ask about their births, and everyone will assume that your kids sleep all night in their own bed. Really, it gets better.
God, I hope so.
I appreciate what this, and other Rodney King-esque missives are saying. And I’m starting to wonder if I’m not contributing to the problem.
At times, the conversation that’s happening on this blog – and others – may suggest an us-against-them mentality. I hate that, personally. I really would love if we could stay away from any disparaging comments about “breastfeeders”, because it’s not breastfeeding moms who are limiting our choices; making us feel like breastfeeding is the be-all, end-all of parenting; and curtailing our access to good, impartial information about infant feeding. It’s the government. It’s the media (and for the record, I am definitely including uber-popular bloggers and web-journalism in this category). It’s medical authorities.
These are the people we should be using our energy to fight. Likewise, I believe breastfeeding advocates should be focusing on the people who want to breastfeed, instead of wasting precious time and resources on those who don’t care to, or have already failed. On the lack of good, accessible, and FREE lactation support in hospitals and in the first few months postpartum. On ensuring that women do get good workplace lactation support.
Like so many others, I’m getting sick of all the in-fighting. But I think my reasons for this are different than what is currently being expressed in the blogosphere. I’m pissed because we are getting distracted by the catfight instead of addressing the far more insidious and important barriers that stop us from being able to breastfeed and/or formula feed safely and freely.
Trying to forge a peace accord for the mommy wars is stupid, because mothers are always going to be our own toughest critics. We are always going to judge each other, because we are freaking insecure. Notice I’m not saying women, but mothers – because no matter how strong you are in your former life, nothing makes a woman more emotionally fragile, paranoid and desperate for approval than motherhood. Blame it on hormones, society, or your own mom, but regardless… we are all a big hot mess, especially for the first few years. I’m sure my best friends have some opinions on how I raise my kids. (If not, they should. My daughter ate dog food like 3 times last week. Not on purpose, obviously – we’re vegetarians. Or at least 3 of us still are.)
So, I’m going to try my best to avoid the mamadrama for awhile, and stick to the real issues. Studies that suck; the lack of formula information out there; and mother-unfriendly initiatives. Things like that. If I can steer this conversation away from the us-against-them, and into the us-against-bullying/coercion/misinformation/guilt-tripping, I’ll feel like this blog is worth my time. And more importantly, your time.
With that said…
It’s too bad this study didn’t tell us anything very newsworthy (in fact I am just noticing it now, and it was printed in August), because it actually has some interesting facets that might add a dimension to breastfeeding research, at least in the social sciences. A group of Italian researchers (psychobiologists) found that “maternal level of education is not associated with breastfeeding duration in the same direction or with the same magnitude across time. Factors related to breastfeeding should be studied, taking into account social context.”
Well, erm, duh to that last sentence. But further analysis of this study brought up some worthwhile points.
…(W)omen with medium and high educational attainment displayed drastically shorter breastfeeding periods at the beginning of the 1970′s and the rates that correspond to this group were almost on a par with those of woman with lower education attainment in the 1970′s and 1980′s. However, a subsequent steady increase of 3.4% each year was experienced and this trend remained until the end of the 1990′s.
Researchers attribute these results to the fact that women with higher educational attainment follow the advice of healthcare professionals with greater ease in relation to the benefits of maternal breastfeeding. They emphasise that “providing the mother wishes to breastfeed, working conditions, economic status and greater access to healthcare services probably help to maintain breastfeeding levels.”
LOVE that they added in “providing the mother wishes to breastfeed”, and that this study is – dare I say it – nuanced. It’s interesting that more highly-educated moms were breastfeeding less in the 1970′s… This might make any studies that come out of Italy looking at cohorts from the early 70′s worthy of a second look – because it would help control for socio-economic factors in a very real way.
I’m going to look for similar studies that focus on American breastfeeding rates. Doubt that any will be as PC in their verbiage, but here’s hoping…
The post Is breast vs bottle really a mommy war, or something more? (And a breastfeeding study that doesn’t suck) appeared first on Fearless Formula Feeder.